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Tuesday, May 25, 2004
NATURES PERFECT FOOD
If I remember correctly, last year I was quite infatuated with the McDonald's new Mc Griddle breakfast sandwich. In fact, I seem to recall the drive-thru gals knowing me by name and getting a personal letter of thanks from the president of McDonalds Corp for directly contributing to their sales increase that quarter. I also seem to recall my arse getting larger from the large quantities of scrumptious McGriddles I consumed. But I digress. Recently, I felt as though I was cheating on Ronald as I had discovered Burger King's New Tendercrisp Big Chicken Sandwich. Truly, I felt as if I had died and gone to heaven. Sugar and I were constantly emailing each other about the spectacular goodness of this wonderful gourmet feast. In fact, I believe it made us both wet in anticipation every time we thought about one of these big boys in our mouth. Anyway.....today I went to BK with every intention of ordering a Tendercrisp, but I was led astray again. As I was almost ready to order, my eye caught the attention of the sign for the Angus Bacon Cheeseburger. Now, I must say, I have a real distaste for anything made out of hamburger, and to be completely honest that is a neurosis that will have to be saved for another time. But, for some reason, the picture of this Angus Bacon Cheeseburger called out to me. It beckoned me. And I am so f*cking glad it did. Because holy cow, it was the best damn burger I have had in ages. I can not even begin to tell you how much I adored this Angus burger. I'm not sure what makes Angus cows so different from regular old cows, but, let me tell you....they really do taste nummy. And while I really do feel as though I'm straying from my utter distaste of hamburger, I have a feeling I will be eating at the big BK tomorrow. I'm sure that Upton Sinclair will forgive me. by Sweet Jezebel # Friday, May 21, 2004
BETTER THAN A ROAD TRIP
What could possibly be better than a road trip? Seriously, when it comes to relationships, one of the great hurdles to be conquered is....."the sickness." Ah, what could be so difficult about the common cold, you ask? What's a little bit of coughing and snot in a rock hard relationship, right? Please, it's disgusting. You may feel that the big piece of phlegm you coughed up is pretty spectacular, but the odds are, the new love of your life isn't going to share your enthusiasm. What I'm leading up to, of course, is that our little road trip got completely cancelled because we both got horrendously ill. I'd like to say that we both got the same bug, but nooooooo. He got the 36 hour stomach flu and I got the cold from hell, that has now turned into a sinus infection and bronchitis. What I've learned during this little viral extravaganza is that if you can lay in bed with someone for 2 days straight, and literally not get out of bed with exception to a) relieve your self b) vomit or c) get more kleenexes, you know that there is some amount of compatibility, or at least a tolerance for each other's bad or disgusting habits. Bad and disgusting habits? What could those possibly be? Well, how about describing that it looks like you vomited up your liver into toilet? Or how about hiding your ibuprofen (like an eight year old child), even though you have a fever of 103 degrees? Or, and this is what I've heard, throwing your used kleenexes in a pile, that would rival Mt Fiji, on the floor next to your bed. Apparently this is a disgusting habit. Not that I would know. by Sweet Jezebel # Friday, May 14, 2004
ROAD TRIP
So, the boy and I are going to see if we can tolerate each others' presence long enough to endure a 6 hour road trip together. We're off to Denver for a four day weekend. He wants to see a baseball game. I simply want to see a vast number of shopping malls. I'm still on the quest for the perfect lip gloss. by Sweet Jezebel # Monday, May 10, 2004
WHAT THE HELL???
So, a very kind soul has informed me that someone jacked my old blogspot address. Ummmm, why would anyone do that? Its' not like it was a URL that people would just randomly visit. While I'm a little weirded out by it, I think I should take it as some strange complement. Even so....very strange. by Sweet Jezebel # Sunday, May 09, 2004
A NOT SO SMALL OBSERVATION
When exactly did all the skinny little sixteen year old girls in this world get incredibly large racks? Are their breasts really that unproportionately large for their body or has every single one of them discovered Victoria's Secret? It bothers me simply because my large breasts come with large thighs as well. by Sweet Jezebel # Saturday, May 08, 2004
JUST THE FACTS MA'AM
Let's just say that there was this girl. And let's just say that this girl had writing in her blood and started a web page detailing her weekend antics and the emotional angst that accompanied them. Now, let's unfortunately assume that someone close to her discovered this web log. Let's just say the shit hit the fan. Let's also say that the boy she went on a date with around New Years is still around, hence the title, Tryst of Redemption. Let's just say this girl's happy and wants to write again about the perils of dating and relationships and her absolute love of the McDonald's Double Cheeseburger. Come back soon, because let's just say that this girl has stuff to say. by Sweet Jezebel # |
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